Hey.. I felt like writing. Haven't decided as to what should I write about.. Depression is contagious. Have you ever thought about it. It's like if anyone around you complains.. and complains long enough, you start to whine too.
I want to feel relaxed and free. It's been a while, though. I want to be appreciated and laugh like a pig (okay whatever, I haven't seen a pig laughing but it kinda came up). I want to sing stupid Indian songs and dance to them and I want to be skinny and look good. Somehow, no matter how much I make myself up, I have a large tummy, an ugly double chin and I look pathetic. I want to feel good about myself but I don't seem to do that.
What is possession? The feeling , when you are in love. What happens when you let go? That hallow feeling when you know how madly you're in love with him but you're okay to share him. To let him marry as many times and to nurture his children from other women and you show your love for them all. Is this love, too? What kind of? Do you withdraw, do you feel sickened or have you just died? But if it is your own decision, why do people look at you with all that pity and sympathy? Do I 'need' that?
I want to do an MS and I want to do a Ph.D and I want to do with my N.
I will continue some other time.
I want to feel relaxed and free. It's been a while, though. I want to be appreciated and laugh like a pig (okay whatever, I haven't seen a pig laughing but it kinda came up). I want to sing stupid Indian songs and dance to them and I want to be skinny and look good. Somehow, no matter how much I make myself up, I have a large tummy, an ugly double chin and I look pathetic. I want to feel good about myself but I don't seem to do that.
What is possession? The feeling , when you are in love. What happens when you let go? That hallow feeling when you know how madly you're in love with him but you're okay to share him. To let him marry as many times and to nurture his children from other women and you show your love for them all. Is this love, too? What kind of? Do you withdraw, do you feel sickened or have you just died? But if it is your own decision, why do people look at you with all that pity and sympathy? Do I 'need' that?
I want to do an MS and I want to do a Ph.D and I want to do with my N.
I will continue some other time.
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