Got back home..

Hmph! So back home from our village, Mithakhel-Karak. It's such a beautiful and serene place, or seems to me specifically because we have our ammi and abba there. Home truly feels like home when you're around your elders. I pity those nowadays' girls who like to stay on their own with their husbands and they enjoy running their own homes.. It's very lonely to me. I find having ammi abba at home for us, such a blessing. Its the only time when we are truly relaxed, nothing to worry about.. Sleep early and wake up early to a very beautiful morning, a breath of fresh air.. You hear the birds chirping, you hear ammi calling you to join her in the kitchen, sit next to her, gossip like teen girls and laugh like crazy.. I love being there.. The only, ONLY catch is when it's summers and there's no light.. The "ghola" is frying in the scorching sun and there's hardly any shade or cool breeze to sooth that burning skin of yours. Otherwise, life at our kala is peaceful, serene, beautiful and fulfilling. When we return from there back to Peshawar, we return rich and happy :-)

Of votes and elections...

I have been thinking of posting here and there about who to support even if from home and whom to stay away from or avoid this time.. Even right now, there is a woman probably some MPA is talking at the top of her lungs trying to justify their party and the decisions they have made. Even if, she comes up with 1 or 2 of the things they can justify or make reason with, I don't think this government has done anything GOOD for the country or the nation so to say. I really wish people get enough sense this time to vote for, may be, Imran Khan just because he is new and hasn't been given a chance. The rest of them are all tried, test and failed terribly. May be when and IF Imran Khan is elected, things are soooo messed up that it will take him a while to set things, not right, but on the move towards getting right or even reaching a sustainable point. To be honest, it will be day dreaming to expect him to be elected one day and to fix everything the very next day. He has to first undo all the wrongs, then bring them to a no-harm-point and then make efforts to begin everything from scratch. This country doesn't need renovation, it needs to be REBORN.
May Allah SWT bless our country and that things may get better. Not for people like MALALA YUSUFZAI who like a stupid teenager worships AMREEKA and writes whatever her dear daddy dictates and thus wins awards everywhere. To me, she is just a stupid little wanna-be who doesn't know what she is talking about and likes all the attention she is getting. I have seen students die, be tortured, suffer irrecoverable, irreversible losses and yet me lost in a black-hole just because their fathers were not so well-linked. For God's sake, a nobel prize? Seriously?? May be France, Italy, USA, UK, bla bla should come and visit the less fortunate villages here in our country and witness what our youth has to go through everyday.
I sincerely hope Imran Khan wins, for the betterment of the country. May Allah have mercy upon us. Ameen!

Ultra Violet Hearts

You know what Emo N! Maybe we could draw hearts up and down our arms to make up for the ones inside that seem to be mere
shadow-organs. Maybe we could put cotton balls in jars, like in
doctor`s offices, and call them 'clouds', and then we`d always have a piece of our imaginary sky on our shelves. (Maybe we`d even add a pinch of silver glitter, for the stars, because the real ones are too high to reach). Maybe we could go to someone else`s party and whisper to each other in the corner, and we`d try to
be the prettiest wallflowers there. (You could be a tulip, and I could be an orchid). Maybe we could go door-to-door and try to sell candles with burned black wicks, and when people would reject them, we could say, 'but these are the
prettiest, because they`ve already glowed once.'. Maybe we could re-invent valentine`s day candy to
say phrases like 'broken' and 'gone' because they would be easier to believe than 'I love you' and 'be
mine' and 'forever'. (We are realists or at least I like to think so). Maybe we could wait for a midnight thunderstorm and watch the lightning strikes from the porch stairs, and when the rain got to be loud enough, we could stand beneath it and scream our lungs out. Maybe we could make pictures with too-wet watercolors, and we`d draw hands and hearts, and
the paint would bloom and the two would bleed and blend until the entire paper just looked like a
splotchy splat. (And it would be beautiful anyway). Maybe we could stand on the beach, right where the
water lapped up to touch our feet, and we could let our souls leave our bodies for a little while. We`d just
be shells of pale skin planted like mannequins in the sand, but it would be so pretty, because we`d be free....

Adam and Eve...

You know i just understood the difference between a man and woman.
I was watching a documentary on Discovery based on Football...... and i 'll tell u the difference between a man and a woman

after a goal i saw men running about a field stripping off their jerseys.....
and wondered .. would a woman do it
if she scored a goal in a soccer match ?? A subtle difference.. but none the less important.....

when God created eve.. he tricked Adam .... with a mirror..... but Adam did not understand physics enough to recognize lateral inversion of his own soul....
so who is the snake u might ask.....??? well it was the MIRROR.. coz when Adam saw the mirror he was tricked into believing what was not by the MIRROR......and was trapped into believing that there was another world... a more beautiful one.....and paid the ultimate price for trying to find it.....

so shall all great people who attempt to do so......
but tell me..... what happened to the man would saw the mirror and turned away from it.....the ignorant bastard of fate... no one ever heard of him again....he was the most inconsequential character in the plot.... but nevertheless important .. because he symbolized a man who never fought.. who never dreamed .. and who never dared....but only served a means to glorify Adam......
"Adam was my father....coz i inherit his mind...."
AND YES one more point..... would satan exist if there was no GOD???

Random Rant # 1.

I am sad, very very sad.. very very disappointed with the way life has turned into something I have no understanding of, whatsoever. I don't know where to begin correcting things in and around me. I want to look desirable to my husband so no other woman wins his attention but I have failed to do so over and over and over again. Everyday his mentioning of some else shatters a piece of me which makes its place forever into the oblivion, never to return again.
I wish I was loved and appreciated by everyone around me, be it at home or in and outside our family. But somehow I think I am expecting the acceptance a hundred percent and perfection is only in Allah. I am just but a fickle in this big big world. I just so passionately want to make everyone happy, more than happy but then again I have proved to be such a huge failure, it kills me.
My husband is my foremost priority but by the time I get to him, I am so exhausted making things perfect around and about him that now I have left him in disappointments!
I wish I could make it all perfect for him. Why couldn't I be one of such girls who have it all. He deserves someone beautiful, elegant, smart, rich, and everything picture perfect... something which I am not! :(
I am sorry...